Have A Little Faith (Tylag)

[Whisper]

3rd of Melora, Winter, Era XV
late afternoon
continued from The Church of Carmelya

There were only a few people in the church when Tylag entered, but they all turned around, looking frightened and disturbed when he began to shout angrily. Usually, the most noise in the church was soft conversation, or at the most a little bit of soothing music. Tylag's frustrated cries resonated around the wooden interior of the church, the elven craft melding with the dwarf-carved stone of the outside.

An acolyte of Carmelya, a young Baijani woman dressed in flowing green robes, looked over at Tylag worriedly. She tried to approach him, but he seemed not to see her. "Sir... Sir..." she said quietly, but he couldn't hear her over his shouting.

When Tylag finally quieted down, the woman hurried down the aisle to follow him to the church's open doors. "Sir, please," she called after him, picking up her robes so she could walk a little faster. "What is bothering you? I couldn't really understand much of your shouting, but there seems to be so much anger in your heart." She regarded him with wide brown eyes, the color of dark wood.

Just beyond the shelter of the church's entrance, it began to rain. Such was the weather in Demios... unpredictable and surprisingly harsh. Within moments the ground was soaked, and the trees in the distance began to flail with the winds from the sudden storm.

[Tylag]

The few people in the church looked around frightened and disturbed as the angry and frustrated dwarf took out his frustrations in a verbal barrage of noise in a enclosed area unused to noise. The loudness of the dwarf was amplified as it resonated in the timber which lined the interior of the church.

The timber contrasted with the plain stone floor of the church. Tylag had not seen the acolyte's abortive approach because he was so mad and concentrating on his verbal tirade. Tylag couldn't hear the lady call out to him as she was drowned out by the dwarvish bellowing.

Tylag again didn't see the acolyte's approach as he turned to leave. Tylag turned as a female voice called out behind him. The dwarf turned his hand holding his warhammer down by his side. The dwarf almost laughed as the acolyte came toward picking up her skirt as she hurried toward him.

At the lady's comment about not understanding the dwarf stood for a moment his mouth open dumbfounded.What I thought I was very clear in my speaking Tylag thought to himself.

Tylag felt the benefits of the cathartic release leaving him as the lady asked about the anger in his heart. The legendary stubborness of the dwarves kicked in as Tylag stared at the lady trying to figure out this acolyte.

Another trait of the dwarves emerged after a few moments of silence which seemed to drag on after the explosive release which had just been witnessed in the usually quiet church. This trait was the capacity for grumbling.

"What is wrong?" Tylag said. "What is wrong is am tired of the trail. For the last several eras I have wandered throughout this empire to no avail. Wandering while searching for something. What I am searching for I am not sure. In fact not only am I not sure I just don't know. In addition I am a dwarf. And as such the identity of a dwarf is tied up in his clan. I don't have a clan any more. I am as is called clanless. Me clan died in an attack when I was very young." Tylag said his voice raising again.

"I can't go to the dwarves because of beliefs I hold which don't sit well with other dwarves so I live under a self imposed exile which is the only thing which keeps that exile from becoming a offical de facto exile from all dwarven lands."

Tylag noticed the color of the females eyes brown the color of a dark wood. I wonder if humans consider that color to be beautiful thought the dwarf.

At this point the dwarf was interrupted as the weather began to rain just outside the church. I wonder if the storm is the response of the gods to my actions in this church the dwarf thought mildly.

Tylag glanced out the weather and watched as the the winds began to flail the trees. At that sight the dwarf was reminded of the wind howling thorugh mountains where dwarves made their homes. The thought made Tylag homesick which changed in a instant to a feeling of anger and rage. The hand clutching his warhammer tightened till the dwarf's knuckles began to whiten around the haft of the warhammer.

[Whisper]

The acolyte regarded Tylag with a sad gaze. His shouting, anger, and frustration seemed to make her depressed, sympathetic towards his feelings.

After a moment of thinking, she spoke up. "I think I understand, sir dwarf... You don't need to feel alone even when your family is gone and your race will not accept you. There are other places to seek solace, other hearts to turn to.

"How about friends?" she asked softly. "Or your peers in your job, or your training." Her eyes flickered downwards, noting his tight clutch on his warhammer. "Or the gods." She raised a hand to gesture to the giant statue of Carmelya inside the church. "Carmelya is the embodiment of Hope, the goddess of nature. She has been known to grant prayers from poor farmers who seek to reap from the earth, to guide those who become lost in forests or mountains."

From the outside of the church, beneath the little overhang that protected the steps to the main entrance, the acolyte looked up at the church's stone exterior. "Dwarves carved this, you know. 100 eras before the Aetherfracture. They laid the stone on the floor, to keep it cool during the summer months. They also built the Stone Tower." She pointed towards the exquistite structure, made entirely of the same white stone. From where they stood, she and Tylag could see the granite altar at the top of the three-story tower.

"And these statues?" she continued, pointing to the large marble figures of Carmelya inside and outside of the church. "Dwarven made, as well. The dwarves were drawn to Carmelya after she saved them from an avalanche in the mountains of Demios. They helped to found this church a very long time ago."

[Tylag]

The acolytes response to Tylag's ranting seemed to be sympathetic. The dwarf warred between feeling pitied by this woman and maybe actual carrying. "Don't need to feel alone you say. Do you know the importance of a dwarf's clan. The clan is the major organization in society." the dwarf stressing what he was talking about.

At the ention of friends Pictures in Tylag's mind came unbidden. there was Camillia Matrona the brewer he had meet in Zerdargia. There was Faust whom he had meet in Prime. There was Id'est Meridum the elf Tylag had helped guard during his brief stint as a Riparan guard for the Merchant company. There was Yarrow the old guard captian of the Thanal guard Tylag had belonged to.

Tylag remembreed memories of his time with these people. Very few people considering the time the dwarf had wandered. "yes I have friends and they have been the few pinpricks of light in the darkness of the tunnel of my life." Tylag responded. "I have never been able to find a job which satisfies me. I keep trying and that could be one reason for my constant search for fullfillment. As for training that is the basis of some of my friendships. Respect for each others martial abilities."

She darted a glance towards the hands clutching his warhammer. When she said the gods Tylag almost laughed loudly. He did look at her as if she had grown horns and a tail. The feamle began to describe Carmelya as hope. "Hope bah the only hope I have had is that maybe I can fit in somewhere. Can you guess how much that hope has been fulfilled. It hasn't not in my life."

The human began to tell how the dwarves created the outside of the church and the stone tower. Following her gestures Tylag could see the stone tower and the altar which stood atop the tower. The human mentioned the statues of Carmeyla were created by the dwarves. "Aye and it is good stone." Tylag said stamping his foot on the stone floor.

Tylag listend as he told the story of the dwarves being drawn to Carmeyla after she saved them from an avalanche. Tylag's first thought was that it was a wonderful story and it started to make the dwarf feel better but the thought crossed his mind. "So the gods can save the dwarves from an avalanche but doesn't care about saving a dwarven clan from annilation.." He said as his eyes narrowed and his hand relaxd and then tightened on the haft of his warhammer.

"How capricious. Tylag said almost mockingly. "I wonder if Carmeyla would have cared more if say it was a human tribe or elvish tribe since she is the goddess of nature."

[Catalyst]

The woman seemed to still be somewhat nervous about the angry dwarf's grip on his warhammer, but her voice was steady. "The gods do not save us all, or prevent every tragedy. I understand why you are frustrated, but this is how it must be. Should the gods interfer in every aspect of our lives we would be no more than puppets. Should they give us such aid that we rely on them constantly, we would stay as babes and never develop the magnificence of spirit that we are capable of."

She gave Tylag a thoughtful look. "It occurs to me that your problem may be that you are looking outward to fill a void that must in part be filled from within. If you found the place in society you seek today, would you recognize it, or would the bitterness of your anger make you turn away? If you do not feel at peace with yourself, can you be at peace with the world?"

"Perhaps..." she said slowly, "Instead of looking for acceptance, you should provide it for others. There must be others like you. Paxia was largely destroyed by Orcs, for example. Perhaps you should found your own clan from orphans such as yourself, and make a place for yourself where none has been offered you."

[Tylag]

The woman seemed to be nervous. Probably with the fact I have come armed into a religous facility. The female acolyte answered the dwarven stubborness with reason. The lady describes to the dwarf what would happen if the gods constantly interferred in everyones lives. Addtionally the other side of the rock the lack of divine intervention in peoples lives.

The dwarf listend and relaxed his grip on the warhamer as the acolyte thoughtfully diagnosed the dwarves issue as trying to fill a void in his life by looking outward instead of looking inward.

The lady suggested instead of craving aceptance maybe Tylag needs to provide acceptance for others. The acolyte suggesting maybe founding his own clan possibly from orphans and then make your own place.

The dwarf nodded slowly."So I need to accept my life and fulfill the void in my life by internal instead of external means. Well you have definetly given me some things to think about. Thank you for your time nad sorry to disturb your worhsip services." The young dwarf said as he turned to go outside the building and into the rainstorm.

[Catalyst]

The woman nervously lay a hand on Tylag's shoulder. "Look, I'm sorry, I don't mean to make it sound as if your anger is your fault. Of course you're frustrated. You have every right to be. I'm sure there is no way I can know what it is like for a dwarf to lose his clan. I just want you to know that everything you truly have is in your heart, and no one can take that away from you without your permission. The rest of the world may come and go and there is not always anything we can do about it, but what's in here..." She thumped herself on her chest with her hand. "here is your citadel."

"I do hope you will visit us again sometime. I am eager to help if there is anything I can do."

[Tylag]

The woman laid her hand on the dwarves shoulder. Tylag could see the lady was nervous. Tylag listened as the acolyte told him that evrything he need he kept inside of himself. Tylag listened what she said made sense about the void he needed to fill inside of him. The acolyte called what was inside your citadel. Tylag agreed with that.

"Thanks for your time and sorry to disturb the peace here." Tylag said somewhat awkardly and sheepishly. With that the dwarf walked outside the temple into the downpour mildly expecting the gods to strike down the dwarf for his impertinence.