A pause for breath (Shawntay)

[Ulfr Grimsson]

Imperos 1, Autumn Era XII

Crossing over the border into another Province was what Ulfr had been waiting for. He had driven the pair of them hard all the way form Imperia, knowing that at any time the wrath of the the Governor, whose attempts to acheive justice had been thwarted, could catch up with them, and there would be no escaping it.

He hoped now that they were now beyond retribution and it was time to take a break. He reflected briefly on their trip, starting from the hurried exit from the gaol, pausing only to collect her clothing before racing to catch the ferry which was leaving at that time. Ulfr had used his alternate identity and deliberately mentioned leaving by the Gate so taking the ferry he hoped would throw the scent since they'd have to wait for its return before interrogating the crew. By that time they would be in Arium which would surely delay any pursuit, if there was one as the rival Provinces negotiated passage.

From there they had dodged though the wilderness, returning by necessity to Arakmat and then into the desert. Now they were through and into Lauryl. What Shawn had made of his route he didn't know for they'd barely exchanged a word and that worried him. So now he pulled over and stopped by the edge of a stream.

Shawn, he spoke softly, I think we are safe now. If you want we can take a break in the next tavern we find? He waited nervously for her answer.

[Shawntay]

Of course this was a way of life that really wasn't much different then what her life had been in the past. Well she still felt stress and anxiety about where her life was going and if someone was after them or not, perhaps this was what caused her to feel like she was still a slave and not a free person. But this was no fault of Ulfrs and Shawn only hoped that he didn’t feel like she was taking it out on him since she was so silent on this hurried trip, she scarcely said a word to him. Her mind was racing with many things but mainly with the visions of what she had done and the fact that she felt like there were eyes upon her everywhere that she went. Really though she wasn’t quite sure how she had been released so quickly, she merely made assumptions until she could get the full facts from the man that was the soul cause for her freedom. For this reason she’d feel in debt to him for all eternity. Never the less all that was happening was probably weighing heavily upon both of their minds. Even Shawn couldn’t help but to think about what Ulfr was thinking.

Now that they had apparently stopped for a few minutes she could share a thought or two with him or at least answer his inquiry. She smiled softly, looking rather shyly at him as if she were ashamed of her actions and where they had led her too. He seemed rather nervous and for this Shawn couldn’t see why but she put his mind at ease by finally speaking to him in a voice that was as soft and as timid as her smile. ”Yes I’d like to rest but it doesn’t have to be in a tavern. I don’t want you to have to spend any money on me. Staying outdoors on the ground would be fine. A person like me is accustomed to it.” For her sake and peace of mind she wished him to not waste his hard earned money on her, she already felt guilty enough for all that he has done for her. She took a long and deep breath, releasing it in a sigh as her pale blue eyes already began to fill with the life that was once portrayed in them; surely Ulfr saw this when they first met. The female began to feel a little more at ease, especially now that Ulfr said that he thought that they were safe. It was his word that she took stock in and she believed what he was saying. He’s already proved so much to her that she actually began to trust him even though his brand proved to his people otherwise. But what others thought wasn’t important to her; she’s already proven that by trusting him with her life, even if she didn’t at the time know that she was doing so.

All things would be sorted out and perhaps now they could talk. So much there was that Shawn wanted to know about him and so much about herself she wanted to share with him. But mainly she wanted to tell him how sorry she was that he had to see her in such a bad light. Now though it might be different. Their surroundings have changed and now she wore her own clothing, the clothing that she had bought, the clothing that was very different from what Ulfr saw her in the first time that they had met. A smile remained upon her features as such memories cascaded to the forefront of her mind, for from the moment that she met Ulfr Shawn felt as though something in her heart had changed. Tenderly she reached out to let her slender fingers run over the side of his cheek but she pulled it back to look at it once she realized how dirty she was. The realization of what was happening flooded her very being and she began to cry, tears of sorrow and of regret but mainly because she was ashamed of herself, ashamed for what she had done, ashamed that she felt that anyone worthy could love her and have feelings for her. Shawn just looked up at Ulfr and then placed a hand over her mouth as she turned from him. She felt like a slave and a mere servant. For a while she thought that she could let those feelings behind but now she began to think that she wasn’t a real lady at all but nothing but a good for nothing whore.

Softly she mumbled her apologies to Ulfr. ”I’m sorry Ulfr. I’m sorry that I got you into this mess.”

[Ulfr Grimsson]

He bit his lip at the evidence of what the events in Imperia and the hurried journey had done to this woman. A woman who had some strange hold on him, a hold that made his heart race but it was a reaction that he clamped down on ruthlessly. He needed to get her to the city and then make sure that she was set up well, and then he would see. He was determined not to take the smallest amount of advantage if he could help it. Crowns were crowns at the end of the brightening and the chance of having someone like this in or close to his life was worth more than a few pieces of shiny metal.

The journey had indeed made him reconsider his lifestyle and he'd begun to wonder what he might do in Mystique. It did worry him though because the city was so expensive and he couldn't afford to stay there burning crowns as it were.

We'll find an Inn,he smiled softly at her even though she couldn't see it turned as she was, and sorry for asking, I shouldn't have done so. You need somewhere to rest, get yourself clean and ready for when we get to Mystique. If the Inn isn't too bad we'll stay for a couple of brightenings and hopefully by then you'll be feeling a bit better. Come now, lets start off again, but take it at a reasonable pace now.

He held his hand out to her, placing it gently on her shoulder and turning her towards him. He stood close enough to take her in his arms once she was turned and the temptation was as strong as it was wrong. Instead he raised his hand and wiped away the tears, the wetness on his fingers and the touch of her warm cheek causing a tingle almost as strong as the touch of her hand had caused.

[Shawntay]

Shawn didn't know if what he had said was from the heart or just a sly means of manipulation on Ulfr's part. But what she did know was that he had just saved her life and any hope that there was for a happy future for her. So she was grateful to him and everything that made him the man that he was. It was evident to her that he had learned a hard lesson and that perhaps the brand that he wore upon his forehead was now also burned into his mind and tattooed upon his character, his personality and his heart, creating within him the person that he was within and the person that he could possibly become.

But her thoughts weren't only upon him but upon herself and what he might be thinking of her. So many times the words were said, the words that the mind might be thinking but how one interprets it was what mattered. Perhaps he was afraid to hurt her any further. Maybe he really wanted to abandon her right here and now. If he did though wouldn't he have left her already? Surely he had the opportunity to do so but he was proving that he wasn't about to do that, or so she thought. Slowly Shawn turned into him and let him comfort him with his arms and body if he so desired. With a voice that was crackled with regret, pain and sorry she spoke to him. "Yes let's get there as soon as we can. I long to take a bath and to feel like a real woman again."

Perhaps what she said was encouraging to Ulfr but then again perhaps not, perhaps it was just something that he had expected her to say and wasn't really of any importance. But hope began to blossom in her heart and once they got to the tavern and had gotten cleaned up and settled then they could talk. There was so many things that she wanted to know and for some reason she found the strength mentally and physically to go on. Shawn wanted to know all that she could about this man, the man that gave her future back to her, the man that may have an impact on the life that was ahead of her.

She took a firm hold onto his hand and leaned into him, letting him take a little of her weight so that he may assist her and feel like the real man that he is...

[Ulfr Grimsson]

He was pleased that she had agreed and didn't pressure her, but merely put his arm around her and supported her weight for a moment and then after giving her a quick one armed hug, released her. He'd have liked to keep hold of her but it would have made walking difficult and he still wasn't sure of her response.

It wasn't long before they reached the next village with its Inn. He wasn't surprised by that since he'd remembered the village before he stopped and asked, but then he'd wanted to give her the choice.

He led them into the Inn and quickly paid for a room, taking her up and installing her in a room. He paused on the threshold of her room. The maid should be up soon with your bath, and they'll do mine after. Is there anything you want? He didn't want to leave her, but he'd also taken a seperate room just to make sure she understood that he wasn't expecting anything from her. That it might appear that he didn't want her was something that worried him.

Otherwise, I'll come and get you after and we can go down and eat?

[Shawntay]

Naturally by the time that they had made it to the Inn Shawn was a little more tired then she had expected to be but that didn't mean that in any way she wanted to be alone since Ulfr was the only person that she felt any kind of connection too. The female nodded to him, perhaps thinking that he didn't want her now that she had fornicated with the high priest. Naturally she let him do as he wished without injecting her thoughts on the matter. Slowly she let the maid pull her into the room. Shawn looked back and watched Ulfr in a pitiful manner as his image began to fade. But then she remembered that he asked her if there was something that she wanted. Yes there was... it was him. Slightly and without trying to appear rude she pulled from the maid and then whispered to her the instructions. The maid was to prepare her bath and then leave immediately and within seconds Shawn was standing again next to Ulfr.

In the meantime as Shawn stood there she shyly took a hold of Ulfr's hand and squeezed it, not immediately looking up at him. Her natural inclinations were to gravitate toward him as so she took a few tiny steps in his direction. She longed to be close to someone but most of all him. Softly she whispered up to him, hoping that he wouldn't reject her since he hasn't thus far. "Please don't go. Please stay with me. I don't care if you are there when I bathe, I just want to feel your presence." Now it was time... time to enter the room. Shawn left his side in order to let him decide for himself. She didn't care what it seemed like to the others. For all that mattered she knew that they would likely never see any of these people again and she even longed for him to be with her in the same room for the entirety of the night. Shawn stopped at the door; she was neither in the hall nor in the room yet but standing for a moment in the archway. Her pale blue eyes caught sight of his and she spoke to him once more. "It's up to you, you can stay or you can go to have your own room but I'd feel much better if you stayed with me."

The maid smiled and bowed her head as she passed them by. Even strangers could feel that there was something between them even if they were still both very confused and leery about each other. From there the female left him so that he could decide. He'd either have to go or enter her room but it was clear that he couldn't stand out in the hall way all night long and it was also clear that she was already in the tub as he could hear the splashes of water and her sighing deeply as she leaned back to relax. The smell of the soaps filled the room and before long she was sitting up to wash, not seeming to care if Ulfr saw her, if he was looking, though her back was turned and all that he could see was her shapely back, down to the curve that eventually becomes her irresistible hips.

[Ulfr Grimsson]

Going wasn't something that he'd wanted to do, not at all, and her hand was so warm and soft upon his. He smiled softly at her, pleased that she'd invited him to stay and not reading anything into other than she didn't want to be alone, or at least she did want him to stay.

But still, invitng him into her room when she was having a bath was more than a little forward, even considering that they had actually slept together. But still it would be his first chance to see her naked properly and he wasn't enough of a gentleman to refuse the oppertunity so graciously offered.

The inn was rustic enough that the maid seemed to think nothing of it, or perhaps she was just used to the ways of the world and it was likely he guessed that maids soon got used to the activities of their guests, whose business after all was their own. If this caused gossip and amusement for the staff, well that was their business and not his.

I'll not go if you want me to stay Shawn. I meant only to give you some privacy if you needed it, a chance to think if that was what you needed.

He did turn aside as she undressed and climbed into the bath, but that was the limit of his control and he slipped off his jacket, leaving just his shirt, since this was after all indoors.

Her back was attractive and it drew him towards it. Shall I wash your back for you Shawn? It was a question but he was greatly hopeful that she wouldn't refuse. He longed to touch her, all the control that he'd exercised on the long trip now evaporating.

[Shawntay]

Every part of her existence cried out for his tender touch and for his physical close proximity and so when he offered to wash her back she nodded silently and then looked over her lithesome shoulder at him, looking rather seductive while holding out her sea sponge that was already filled with bubbles that dripped with a scent of rose and water onto the wood floor. Of course she was conscience of her scars. At times she forgot about them but at times like this the thought of them caused her to feel ugly. Shawn winced slightly with such thoughts as she already began to wonder if he’d say anything about them, but even worse was what he might be thinking. Many of the whip marks faded and were mere thin lines, nothing ghastly or gaping but still she felt at times like they would burn a hole right through her body, slicing her into shreds as they did so. Again she shuddered, the water responding to her movements, in waves and in sound. Her physical scars then caused her to wish that she would have said no but that was to late.

And so the female waited for him to approach, her body already tingles with the prospect of his touch though inwardly she wondered what he must be thinking of her. Perhaps they could talk long enough for her to ask him some questions that she is dying to know the answers too and he about her. But such things would take time and right now was what was happening. Shawn would have to learn how to live in the moment and to keep her thoughts about future things under control.

[Ulfr Grimsson]

He was pleased of course that she accepted his offer and how many men could not have complied. He took the sponge with a smile on his face, warm water dripping from his fingers with small streams of bubbles. He shifted alongside the bath and knelt alongside it. The floor was hard under his knee as he balanced there with one hand on the edge of the bath. He dipped the sponge into the water and then rubbed it softly down her back. The scars were puzzling to him and a considerable surprise. Oh, he'd known that she had some scars, her clothing was revealing enough and he'd travelled with her long enough to know that, but this was the first time that he'd known the full extent of them.

Whip scars he judged some of them, others he wasn't sure, but though he was shocked by them and wondered how she might have come by them, he also realised that this wasn't the time to ask.

Touching her excited him and his mind was taken by images of what might happen, and it was hardly surprising at that. He realised that his shirt sleeves were getting wet as he explored her back with the sponge. He stripped it off and then continued washing her. How to start the conversation? It puzzled him for a moment but then he sighed slightly and smiled. So, how is that? Is it better?

[Shawntay]

One had to look closely and passed her ever so slightly sun tanned skin to see the scars but Shawn had assumed that Ulfr had already done that since he was obviously so close to her already. The scars only proved to enhance her beauty instead of taking away from it, though she would argue that point if questioned. Oh sure the female, if given a choice, would have chosen to be without them but now, after living so long with them, she's come to accept them and found that it made her who she was and always will be. It's just at times she found herself becoming uncomfortable when someone saw them, which wasn't many times, save for twice now that she's been with a man intimately. In her mind though the high priest didn't count since his eyes and hands were bound and he could neither look at her nor touch her with his unworked fingertips.

Once Shawn and Ulfr made it passed the initial few seconds of him actually being able to observe her naked back the female began to relax, even letting out a soft sight of what seemed like relief. She was sure that Ulfr wouldn't judge her to harshly due to the evidence of domination upon her practically flawless skin. Shawn felt that she could trust him to look at the person within rather then what was upon one's outer skin. Perhaps she'd now more about him eventually but she only assumed that he was a man that wasn't going to take advantage of her, he hasn't thus far and this inspired confidence within her toward the man that he was and is.

His touch was tender and heavenly to say the least. Inwardly the female couldn't help but to drawl on what she felt like when she was making love to the confined priest. Such thoughts popped up into her brain when they had a mind to, she only hoped that they wouldn't continue to do that for the rest of her life since she felt as though what she did was a sin and wasn't even right to think about for her own pleasure, especially so since the man was now dead. This caused her to wonder if Ulfr would ever desire to know such deep and inner emotions and feelings that she felt, even if fleeting or ones that burdened or pleasured her from day to day.

They were very much alone in the room now, the door closed so that their privacy was sealed. The only sounds that filled the room were the flickering sounds that the candles made, the sounds of trickling water and the sounds that came from the male and the female. This caused such noises to seem amplified and needless to say it caused wanted and desired arousal. "Mmm... yes Ulfr that feels wonderful, thank you."

[Ulfr Grimsson]

It was a curious time, that space where he waited for her answer. It had taken them so long to reach this point and now it was as if there had been no time at all. Time before was meaningless to him or so it seemed, all that mattered were indeed those sights and sounds within this very room. He pushed the sleeve of his shirt up, though the cuff was already wet; he'd have taken it off altogether except that it would have given quite the wrong message as to his intentions. Or perhaps the right message? Even he wasn't quite sure about that since the journeying had included both some wild fantasies about how he might take her and also a good deal of mental reprimands regarding the same.

Good, he replied and continued to wash her with gentle strokes. Somehow words might have broken the fragility of the moment. He felt drawn and kissed the wet skin of her shoulder, first the gentle brush of his beard and then his lips touched. His hand stopped, water dripping from the sponge in a trickling rush and then his lips left her skin and he washed her again. He was content to wash her back, but he longed to do more and yet was loathe to rush.

[Shawntay]

The arousing energy that swooped through the room was indeed noticeable but Shawn bid it away, or at least attempted too, and tried not to make it the main topic that her mind thought about solely. But then his lips pressed into her skin. She denied herself the pleasure of watching this but she found that his well-trimmed beard sure did tickle... a little. Goose bumps trailed up and down her lithesome frame and her lips quivered as her eyes closed and it was as if she were keeping her excitement concealed but her pleasure was revealed in the trembling of her small frame.

But his attentions were over before anything else could become of them. Indeed Shawn wouldn't mind that but it would have to be on his terms and not hers since her past now had many known discrepancies in it... in which Ulfr was aware since he was clearly the one that saved her from being executed in Imperia. The female swallowed hard, her hands moved up her arms, each hand on the opposite arm as they criss-crossed over her bare chest eventually. Her gentle fingers tried to push the goose bumps away but to no avail, they simply wouldn't leave her.

Shawn then moved slightly. The trickles and swishes of the water seemed to be amplified within the room but the female wondered if perhaps that was just her ears distorting everything around her due to the fact that she was indeed rather moved with his attentions.

He then said nothing. Sorely the female wished that he had because she was at a loss for words and so she just bit her bottom lip softly as she became brave enough to look over her one bare shoulder toward him. Her eyes were alight with a fire that couldn't be denied, though Shawn wished him to not think that she was some cheap slave hussy that would sleep with any man with two legs. This was the last sort of impression that Shawn wanted to give to Ulfr.

[Ulfr Grimsson]

His hand moved with the sponge but even he realised that there was only so often that one could rub a back until it was clean or the water cold. Even so he continued to move the sponge, varying the pressure and speed so that there was variety in his movement. Sometimes he pressed harder and sometimes so gently that the sponge barely seemed to brush the skin, the most light of touches though even then the sponge inevitably dripped, giving its own variety to his touch.

He met her gaze and smiled. What could he say? The silence hung heavy and yet an outpouring of feelings seemed inappropriate. He knew that she might feel indebted to him for his actions and perhaps that was why she had stayed with him this long. The thought was hardly new, indeed it rolled down a track worn smooth in his mind so often had he considered it and yet not dared or wanted to ask in case the answer was contrary to his hopes.

But perhaps the time was past for wondering, past for consideration, past for delay. He was here now with her and her body was hardly hidden from him for all of his attempts not to stare, and that in itself was a trial. Her arms now covered herself, but they had not before and the memory of those curves burned into his eyes.

Well now. It was a meaningless statement and yet he had to say something, something inane, something banal else he'd remain mute or blurt something out that shouldn't be said, not yet, not before he'd judged her reactions.

He meant to take what she would offer, take her body from her much as he'd in truth bought her in Imperia. The difference was in the nature of the transaction. This time it was between the two of them and he'd only take what she freely gave and not because she felt an obligation. He wanted no dealings with taking what she might deem payment for what he'd done. He wanted it because she gave it freely, because she wanted to submit herself to him. Wanted him to take her and to a degree as he wanted to take her.

But that was a difficult negotiation to acheive in this circumstance. How to tell what was a gift and what gratitude?

He dropped the sponge and ran his fingers over her wet back, aware that he was loading the scales unfairly, knowing that he risked moving her from what she might consider with a clear head to what her body demanded.

So, you are free once more Shawn. From this brightening onwards, you are free to do as you will, to stay or go. Free to seek whomever you wish or no one. If you wish our paths may part now and there will be no obligation and no debt. I hold you not in hostage for the past, the past is forgotten as far as I'm concerned. Any debt that you might feel you owe me has been amply covered by my debt to my own people. A cancellation if you like of part of what I owed.

He smiled and forebore to kiss her though the temptation was strong and yet even his control wasn't strong enough to stop his hands from touching her and his other hand rested gently now on her shoulder.

[Shawntay]

What was really happening here? Why was he saying the things that he was saying? Slowly it became clear to Shawn. Ulfr thought that perhaps she might think that she owed him something and perhaps he was telling her this for a reason… maybe because he was wanting something, something intimately warm, passionate, lustful, pleasurable and clearly something that could only take place between two consenting adults, which they were. But would the female let him off the hook, or so to speak? Not for now… she enjoyed the moments of torment and just maybe she slightly enjoyed watching him squirm with wild fantasies of being with her, how she would taste or feel beneath his body as they united as one. Indeed she liked the game of teasing, though it could be dangerous in itself but Ulfr had proven that he had will power and Shawn felt that she could test it without negative penalties and consequences.

Shawn however wasn’t without her own weaknesses, ones that she knew well while others were freshly experienced, granted by this new freedom that she was blessed with. She found that his touches were heavenly and they made her skin come alive with a life of it’s own, it tingled and sent shock waves through out her entire frame. At times she looked down at the water that she sat in to see if the trembling of her body caused ripples… and there were though she doubted that he noticed, but she took note of everything. For some good reasons she assumed that he was to busy concentrating on looking at her and touching her, seemingly absorbed totally by what he was seeing and feeling, and perhaps feeding his imagination… tempting himself soon beyond what he could bear.

The situation grew more and more intensified and Shawn knew it, though she did nothing to extinguish the flames of desire, not for her and certainly not for him. Again she turned her head so that her pale blue eyes could look upon him. She nodded silently not taking away the waves of emotions that seemed to fill the room to the very top, in turn spilling over the rim. Perhaps she too didn’t wish for him to think that she was here simply for a ‘good time’. She trusted Ulfr and she only assuming that he knew it without having her to tell him so. But all things had a way of moving forward. With his hands still on her she shook a little, the water growing more chilled with each passing candlemark. And so she leaned forward in order to stand, or prepare too, but she warned him first so that he wasn’t caught unaware. ”This water is getting cold. Could you hand me a towel please?”

Not much sooner after the words floated from her lips she stood, the water seeming to have a mind of its own and loving the fact that it could so freely cascade down her body. It fell to the pool that still surrounded her legs. Even this felt wonderful to the skin but Shawn paid little attention to it for she was now standing up and Ulfr could see her entire silhouette, framed in the dull moonlight that was cascading through the window. Of course he saw her from behind but oh what a sight that was.

[Ulfr Grimsson]

Her words penetrated through the haze of distraction that had engulfed his mind. Fantasies disappeared as abruptly as though they were a soap bubble that had burst, leaving him slightly startled and slightly shocked.

Of course, he responded eventually, shifting his weight and pushing himself upright, allowing the sponge to slide into the water with only the mildest of splashes. Regret at the missed opportunity spiked briefly and then he controlled it, abolishing the thought. If she was really interested in him, then she would remain so, and if she didn't well that would tell him something too, or so he reasoned attempting to find a justification for the way he was acting.

In truth he realised that he was ashamed of how he'd managed to get her released. Did the end justify the means? For her, she was released and surely that pleased her, but for him, he had lied and bribed, used the corruption that he'd guessed was there to his own ends. It was something that didn't sit well with him for he was now faced with a quandry. Having tried any other method of release would surely have resulted in failure and he hated to think of the potential consequences of that.

But how now would he ever be able to tell her the truth? She certainly deserved the truth, but how would she feel to learn that he had bought her like an animal? Likely she would always wonder at his motives. The question would come sooner or later and he would lie to her, he knew it. He would never tell her the truth of the release. Although his intentions had been good, his methods had been a reversion back to exactly the sort of thing that had got him branded in the first place and that was a thought that revulsed him.

He smiled at her, attempting to place a mask over his thoughts and hoping that she'd not wonder too much at his odd silences, not wonder why they'd not found the time to talk. Not that she would see much of the smile it was true with her back to him, and what a back. He gritted his teeth and took the towel, draping it over her shoulders. The tempation to keep hold of the towel and dry her was strong. Almost too strong to resist and he grunted slightly as the desire to continue his contact with her cam close to taking control.

Aye, you'll catch your death standing there like that Shawn. It seemed inconceivable that he could resist the desire to sleep with her and he wasn't sure at all that he could do so. He forced his hands to his side and stepped back, allowing her room and at the same time distancing himself from the temptation.